One Way to Have More Joy

seeing the God who sees

Jan 19, 2024

Photo by Jon Tyson

It was right there in the middle of a decorative arrangement of inspirational sayings and faux metal street signs, in a gathering space in the senior living facility where I worked. It stood out from among the pithy exhortations of the “be kind” and “think positive” variety, causing these to fade away into “forgettable” and “milquetoast”.

It was a Bible verse. It struck me, honestly, as a bit extreme. Impossible to live up to. Somehow, in all my years of churchgoing and Bible-reading, I’d never seen it before:

“Do everything without complaining or arguing.” Phil. 2:14

Sure, I'd seen a verse about murmurings and disputings. And I guess if I’d thought a little, I’d have realized that this was exactly what the murmurings-and-disputings verse meant. For some reason, though, I’d never thought I was the “murmuring and disputing” type.

But the bluntness of the NIV rendering stopped me in my tracks:

Do everything without complaining or arguing.

Maybe I'll give it a try, I thought.

I went home and gave it a try.

I was a new mom. There were lots of diapers and etc. I had one or two babies (don't remember exactly), and I was finding the transition difficult. While motherhood is one of the most profound and wonderful things that can happen to a person (you always have to give these caveats when talking about motherhood!), I felt that my entire being as I knew it had been dismantled and was smack in the middle of a painful reassembly process. I had plenty of complaints: physical, emotional, social, psychological.

I don't wish to belabor this point (lest I fall into complaining again). But what I found was that, as I endeavored to refrain from complaining, I began to have more peace and joy in my circumstances. Yes, things were challenging. Yes, there was a difficult process of adjustment. But I no longer had the burden of obligatory complaining (yes, somehow it seemed that a certain amount of complaining was obligatory) on top of everything else.

I began to realize that a desire to be understood lay at the bottom of my complaints.

As I practiced silence, I began to know—and feel— that God saw me, and that was enough.

As for arguing: I had this lifelong habit of arguing with people in my head (and in real life, on occasion). Mostly, it was ideological. I argued equally with liberals and conservatives, with traditionalists and feminists. I struggled with my humanity, my identity, my theology, and that of everyone else. It was as though I had to refute every one else’s opinion before I could have my own.

But then I stopped arguing.1 I got off social media, and I spent a lot less time online, which helped to silence a high percentage of it. I stopped trying to figure everything out. I didn't have to have the answers; God had them.

Quietness and peace came.

Today in my devotions, I read about Hagar, fleeing from her mistress, wandering in a wilderness. If anyone was in a difficult situation, it was she. If anyone had a right to complain, it was she. But God saw her—gave her a promise for her future—and told her to return to her less-than-ideal situation.

Isn't it the same for us? When we find ourselves in challenging circumstances, He sees us; He assures us that we have a hope and a future. He gives us new strength to endure.

He's with us in it. And there are blessings to be found and taken note of. In time, weariness and dissatisfaction give way to joy.

It's an old, unoriginal message, but it's worth repeating.

Now for something completely different.

I have a fiction serial that I wish to share, but I have decided to share it in a different Substack publication. It is inspired both by the bedtime stories I told my children when they were younger and by stories within stories, like Arabian Nights. While it has fairytale elements (talking animals, etc), it does deal with adult themes.

If you would like to receive my serial, please sign up here. I plan to send one chapter a week.

Thank you!

I don’t want to give the impression that I never complain or argue anymore. I have not reached perfection in this area! But my peace and quietness of mind and heart have greatly increased just by making the effort.